Friday, July 8, 2011

Clean up on aisle 2

As I’ve discussed numerous times now, Babe is doing awesome with potty training. She only wears a diaper at night. If we are going somewhere where we are unsure of the bathroom situation we put a pull ups on her but most of the time she’s rockin’ the Tinker Bell underwear. Whenever she has to go she tells us “I gotta go!” It’s rather hilarious the way she says it but my husband learned the hard way last night that when she says that you better stop what you are doing (no matter what) or you’ll have a mess on your hands!

You may remember I mentioned the other day that pooping in solitude is a rare and wonderful luxury. This goes for my husband as well. While he was sitting doing his business last night we were all in the bathroom with him getting ready for bed. Thankfully we have a pretty large bathroom. Our routine is to brush teeth then they both get out of their clothes to put on pj’s (well, Babe gets pj’s. Bud likes to sleep naked now). So I have two naked children running around having a blast (because isn’t that what bedtime is for? Running around like naked pigmy’s spanking each others hiney. No? Just my house? Ok, moving on.)

So Babe is stark naked and she turns to my husband and says “I gotta go”. I’m in the middle of brushing my teeth so I start to spit and rinse so I can take her downstairs and I hear my husband saying “NO BABE, NO!!!!!” I turn to see her peeing all over his jeans that were on the floor!! (Bet he was sorry he removed his pants to take care of business. Maybe next time he’ll think twice!) She’s looking down at herself with an expression that can only be described as “huh, would you look at that” while moving her legs farther and farther apart because the puddle is getting bigger.

My husband is trying to make her stop (which I attribute to panic because have you ever tried to stop peeing midstream? Ain’t happenin’). I don’t know how this child has so much liquid inside of her. So now Bud is yelling “Bad Babe! You’re naughty” (because when he was potty training he made me want to shove bamboo shoots under my nails rather than clean up after another accident) and I’m laughing, and my husband just says “Oh man, I still have to reach my hands in the pocket to get out my wallet and stuff.”

I tossed Babe in the tub (I still have to bathe these kids no matter how hard I try not to. I’m beginning to believe it’s a conspiracy!) so she’s not tracking pee all around the bathroom. I’m trying to explain to Bud that Babe is not in trouble and he needs to stop yelling at her while I’m also trying to figure out how the hell I’m going to clean up this lake. I’m not worried about the jeans. I figured I could use them to soak up the rest of the pee. I finally got everything cleaned up and washed Babe but I left the jeans on the floor for my husband to deal with. I like to let him share in the housework to make him feel needed.

I guess girls really can pee standing up.


  1. These stories make me really nervous about being a parent. I guess you just have to do it.

  2. oh. my. gosh. that is so hilarious. I can totally picture that whole scenario. my husband has to share his bathroom with all the other (4) females in our house. (and we have another bathroom, that of course they don't use!!)

    My girls haven't purposely pee'd inside, but they've dropped their drawers plenty of times outside in our yard. thank goodness our neighbors are very far away :)

  3. Maybe just peed in my pants! So glad I can read this in canada!!!!!

  4. Lol! Oh the joys of parenthood.

    It's amazing how quickly you learn not to be bothered by a little (or a lot) of pee here and there.