Easy Tips my A...

I hate people who give cheery advice about “Easy Tips for the Working Mom”. “Oh Junior is 9 months old and I’m able to clean the entire house, bake cookies, workout, and read The Tale of Two Cities all in one day. You just have to budget your time.” Come over here so I can smack you with my remote control!  Good for you! By the time I get home at night, my family is lucky I get dinner on the table. Clean the house? Why, so the kids can wreck it again in 3 seconds? I’m not lazy, I’m practical. The definition of insanity is repeating an action over and over again expecting different results. Aaaaand cut!

How about the people who say they wake up early to exercise? I hate love these people! Yes, after a night of Mom, I have to pee, Mom, I need a drink, Mom, can you go get slinky dog from downstairs so I can sleep with him, waking up extra early to workout is exactly numero uno on my To Do list. “Well you just have to make an effort.” The effort I make each morning is to get out of bed so I don’t get fired. Try waking me up early and see what you get. Just ask my husband! He’ll answer you when he gets the feeling back in his groin. (I can’t be held accountable for the actions of my feet when someone tries to wake me up early.)

The thought that comforts me when faced with these people is that they are most likely the ones popping pills with the kids behind them tearing the house to shreds.

I’ve come to believe that the more a mom insists she has everything under control the more likely she’s bat-shit crazy!

Now, back to writing my book on how to be the perfect mother while working full-time and being a fitness instructor on the side...