Tweet

I am not old (at least not to most people) and I like to think that I am fairly up-to-date with technology, even if not completely immersed in it. (Hey, look at me, I'm blogging!) I have a Facebook account, I text, I’m even the go-to gal in the office for techy issues. Let's just say I consider myself tech-literate. But for the life of me I don't get Twitter. I'll be honest, I haven't really given it a fair chance. I've looked at the site all of...two times, but I just can’t catch on. I thought maybe I needed to find someone to follow (see, I even know the lingo!) so today I happened to come across a blog post of someone who is newly addicted to it. She made it sound like the easiest, bestiest best best thing to do (pretty much, all the cool kids are doing it). She made it sound enticing (in a way that only the newly addicted can) and I thought I should give it another shot. I clicked on her Twitter link hoping for the best.

Yeah, not so much. All those @ and # and random names and I had obviously stumbled into the middle of a tweet (look at me getting all sophisticated with the lingo) because nothing made sense. It’s high school all over. The cool kids are having an inside conversation and I’m just eavesdropping (I always thought that was spelled “easedropping” but spell checked yelled at me. See! I can learn stuff!).

I’m sure if someone sat down with me and held my hand and explained everything I would get it with no problem. But you know what? I think I’m getting to the age where I can say “screw it!” and be totally ok with not knowing how to tweet! I think as a parent I’m able to pull out the “In my day” thing and get away with it. In MY day, tweet was something a bird did!

Here’s the problem though. I think Twitter would be good for me. I’m better with the one liners and comebacks, etc. I got an A- in Banter and limiting myself to 140 characters would definitely be a good thing (you know you just glanced up to see how much I’ve written already! Don't feel bad, so did I).  So whereas it may benefit me, I am holding out. I’m stomping my feet and defiantly saying NO! I have a 4 year old…I learn from the best! 

(And because you all love me I know you won't make me eat my words when I finally give in - after someone gives me Twitter for Dummies)

Work in progress

I’ve posted before about Bud’s tendency towards manipulation. He’s working hard to refine his skills. He’s been sick with a terrible cough that is FINALLY winding down. During the peak of it I let him have cough drops because he kept complaining that his throat hurt and was dry. Of course cough drops = candy to him. Now that he’s not coughing much, if at all, I haven’t allowed him to have any. Last night as we were getting ready for bed he said he wanted one because he “still had a really bad cough”. I said I haven’t heard him cough all day. His response to that? COUGH, COUGH! See mom! COUGH! I really do have a bad cough still! COUGH, COUGH!

That’s when the peanut gallery kicked in and Babe starts coughing too because she thinks it’s funny to cough when other people cough. Bud heard her coughing and said “I think she needs a cough drop too.” Babe hears this and says “Candy! Candy! Candy!” It’s one thing to explain to a 4 year old that he can’t have any candy, you can (slightly) reason with them. But once a 1 year old gets it in her head OH BOY! And since she’s crying now asking for candy Bud turns on his water works to see if he can get anything out of it. I must say they are a very annoying convincing pair!

I’m proud to say I didn’t give in! Though it would have given me peace and quiet a lot sooner and believe me, I was tempted!! However, my powers of distraction are still stronger then their powers of manipulation…for now!

Whatever works!!

I'm beginning to think she just likes watching TV because the first time I caught her laying like this last night she was awake and watching Dancing with the Stars with me, with her eyes just past the door so she could see. Because I was fed up with walking her back to her room, the next time she got up I didn't get up right away. Apparently I waited long enough...or Dancing with the Stars was just too boring for her...

Night time fun

Just when I started basking in the glory of full nights of sleep again my kids have conspired against me. Ok, so maybe it’s not Bud’s fault he’s sick with a nasty cold that has led to an ear infection, and maybe he’s still young enough that any ache and pain is traumatic but I think it just proves that boys are wimpier than girls when they are sick! I know his throat hurts really bad, I know it does, the pain on his face is real with each cough. Crying and screaming, however, is not a productive means of dealing with it! Try explaining that to a sick 4 year old at 2am!

At the same time his dear stister (not a typo, it’s what Bud calls her) thought it would be a good idea to wake up every half hour and stand in the hallway. Just stand there. Not come in my room, not play with the outlet, nothing! With my super-sonic mom hearing I wake up immediately at the sound of her putting her blankie away in the cubby-hole of her bed. She then creeps out into the hallway, more often than not completely shutting her bedroom door which means that she is unable to get back into her room without assistance…that would mean me! I’ve tried all different things, getting right up and bringing her right back in, waiting a long time hoping it will tire her out (and the times when she doesn’t close herself out, hoping she’ll just go back in by herself). I’ve tried calling out to her to go back (ha! Like she listens to me in the middle of that day too!) and I’ve tried giving her a bottle. Sure enough, a short time later it’s the same routine all over again! Is it wrong to duct tape a toddler to her bed?? I tried pushing my husband out of bed to make him deal with her but he doesn’t have my super-sensitive hearing (I think the correct term is deaf as a doornail) so at 3am he’s not fully grasping the concept.

I think this is my punishment for thinking I have great kids…and thinking, as a parent, I will ever get a decent night’s sleep ever, ever again!!

Fear

Bud's first trip to the dentist a few weeks ago went really smoothly. He does have a couple of cavities (who knew fluoride in drinking water was really that important!) and we went today to get them filled. At the last appointment the dentist explained to Bud that he has a new machine that is a laser (like Buzz Lightyear!) and it doesn't hurt and it will get it done really fast. He explained to me that with this new machine they don't have to use Novocaine because it really is painless and a great thing to use on kids. He did warn that some kids get scared by the noise (a clicking sound) but I wasn't worried about Bud, he's always a trooper!

So today we go and Bud is not worried or scared or anything! We read some books while we are waiting, everything was fine! In we go and the dentist turns on the machine and Bud looked at me like Are you serious?? He didn't say a word but I saw the fear in his eyes and his fists clench and every muscle tensed! I tried to reassure him and calm him but he was too freaked out. I was really surprised because he's usually as cool as a cucumber.

The dentist (mercifully) stopped and said he's going to recommend him to a pediatric dentist where they are better equipped to handle kids.

He didn't want to show that he was scared but there was no hiding it. I felt so helpless seeing his little face full of fear. I know he'll have to do a lot more things in life that he finds scary but my God I would do anything not to see that look again! Unfortunately I think I'll see it again in May when we go to the pediatric dentist.

Easy Tips my A...

I hate people who give cheery advice about “Easy Tips for the Working Mom”. “Oh Junior is 9 months old and I’m able to clean the entire house, bake cookies, workout, and read The Tale of Two Cities all in one day. You just have to budget your time.” Come over here so I can smack you with my remote control!  Good for you! By the time I get home at night, my family is lucky I get dinner on the table. Clean the house? Why, so the kids can wreck it again in 3 seconds? I’m not lazy, I’m practical. The definition of insanity is repeating an action over and over again expecting different results. Aaaaand cut!

How about the people who say they wake up early to exercise? I hate love these people! Yes, after a night of Mom, I have to pee, Mom, I need a drink, Mom, can you go get slinky dog from downstairs so I can sleep with him, waking up extra early to workout is exactly numero uno on my To Do list. “Well you just have to make an effort.” The effort I make each morning is to get out of bed so I don’t get fired. Try waking me up early and see what you get. Just ask my husband! He’ll answer you when he gets the feeling back in his groin. (I can’t be held accountable for the actions of my feet when someone tries to wake me up early.)

The thought that comforts me when faced with these people is that they are most likely the ones popping pills with the kids behind them tearing the house to shreds.

I’ve come to believe that the more a mom insists she has everything under control the more likely she’s bat-shit crazy!

Now, back to writing my book on how to be the perfect mother while working full-time and being a fitness instructor on the side...

Really??

Note to people who work in an office. When you are doing nothing but browsing Facebook and someone (who sits behind you and can see your monitor) asks you to do something work related that will take all of 5 seconds, it’s really not cool to then “find” other work to do and put off the task you were asked to do. I’m just sayin’!

A holiday worth celebrating!

Happy National Potato Chip Day! I really can’t think of a snack food more worthy of a “day” than the potato chip! My Wavy Lays got me through some pretty rough pregnancy cravings (twice). They are my go-to snack for any occasion. Who cares if foods fried in oil are bad for you and can cause cancer and other illnesses, there is a reason you can’t eat just one people!!!

So thank you, Chef George Crum (very appropriate name!) for inventing this amazing, beloved snack! Without potato chips my tuna sandwich would be naked! Without potato chips I wouldn’t have to hide in the pantry and eat them out of the bag quickly so I don’t have to share them with my kids! Thank you Chef Crum! Thank you!

Happy National Potato Chip Day! I hope you indulge in your favorite variety today, guilt-free! I think it’s against the law not to. It is a national holiday after all. That would be like not having lasagna on Christmas, or candy on Halloween! And be sure to spread National Potato Chip day cheer wherever you go! This is not the type of holiday to keep to yourself. I may even eat them with the pantry door open today!