Dear Bud

Dear Bud,

No one is perfect. We all have our flaws. We all have our bad habits. You won’t get your way every time. People will be mean. Opportunities will be lost. Your heart will be broken. If I teach you nothing else, I pray that you will learn to pick yourself up. I pray that you will learn to forgive. I pray that you will roll with the punches, even when you can barely breathe. I pray you do not let fear of the unknown rule your life. I pray you will learn your lesson but live your life. I pray, with all that I have, that you will learn to be flexible; that you will learn to turn the other cheek. I pray that you will learn from your mistakes and see that there is room in all of us to be better. People will stumble, you will stumble. Get back up. Brush yourself off.

You are growing so fast. Every so often I catch a glimpse of the man you will become. You have so much potential. You are so smart. You are so curious. I hope that things come easy to you but I hope that you see the value of hard work. I hope you see that a little effort now will bring big rewards in the future. I hope you don’t back down when it gets tough. I hope that you will stand up for what you believe, even when it’s not popular. I hope you learn that you can’t control everything and it’s ok that you can’t.

I watch you struggle with fear. “What if” statements have come to rule your life. I don’t have the answers. I don’t know how to make your fear go away. I don’t know how to calm your nerves. I don’t know.

I do know that I need to help you. You can’t go on being scared of everything. Yes, some of it is just a phase – you are so young – but I can’t sit back and watch you struggle and not offer a hand. I want to instill the right habits, give you a path, show you how to handle your troubles. I don’t know how. Not yet. But I am trying. I am your mother. I am your ally. You need to do the work but I will be by your side. It is your burden but I will be by your side. You will make bad decisions, and I must let you, but I will be by your side. I promise I will be by your side.

Lily