Like any mom, when my kids are sad about something it breaks my
heart. I want to fix it and make it all better so they don’t have to be sad
anymore. But I don’t really know how to fix this latest thing. You see, Bud is
surrounded by girls. He has his sister and me and his grandma and all his girl cousins
and all his aunts. He loves them all…but they are girls. Sure he has his dad
and grandpa…but it’s 3 against 7 most days (or more if my mom is up or if his
other Aunt is up visiting) and it makes Bud sad. He wants more boys around. I have boys on my side of the family but they are 4 hours or more away
and Face Time is only so good. One night he tried to convince me I should have
another baby…BUT ONLY IF IT’S A BOY!! Sorry kid, I love you, but to paraphrase
Meatloaf…I won’t do that!
How do I make him feel better about being the only male
grandchild? How do I make him understand that girls have value too? No
seriously, how do I do this? Because I’ve got nothing. Every time he brings it
up…which is a lot…I don’t know what to say. And now that his dad doesn’t live
in the same house he’s only got me and Babe around when he brings itup. At
least it used to be even in the house…now the scales are tipped and if there’s
one thing Bud is sensitive to it’s injustice. IT’S JUST NOT FAIR! Most of the
time when he gets on his jealousy kick I feel it’s ok to pull out the “life ain’t
fair kid” speech, but in this case, he really feels so sad about it and I don’t
know what to do.
So I’m sorry Bud. I wish I could make you feel better, but I’ve
got nothing.
Lily
Maybe with summer coming, one (or all!) of the far-off boy cousins could come spend a couple days with you? Or even just have a few weekend sleepovers with friends? I don't really know when sleepovers start. Is he too young? Or do boys not do that? I think I remember my brother having guy friends spend the night when he was young. Lame, I know, but could you get a boy dog or something?
ReplyDeleteSorry he's sad :(
You bring him up to see his brothers from another mother Carter and Grant!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't have an answer for you and I'm super sorry he feels this way.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Sheelah though. Can he do sleepovers with buddies? It was right around this time that that stuff started right?
Poor little dude! Sorry he feels left out. I think Sheelah may be on to something. Since it's summer, how about sending your little guy there for a few days, then later have the cousins over for a few days? Of more play dates with his friends? Definitely don't have another baby just to see if you can have a boy! LOL!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny how, when we're little, the opposite sex is so icky and lame but when we get older we're like MORE BOYS! Maybe tell your son that one day he'll be happy to be the only boy in a room full of girls (although probably preferably ones who aren't related to him).
ReplyDeleteThat is a tough one! Could you have a special 'boy things' day for him one time. And make all the girls go bug hunting, or play super heros, or baseball or whatever he is into!
ReplyDeleteThat is hard... and I'm really not sure. Can his dad take him on special boy outings? Or maybe you can point out that being the only boy child makes him special and unique instead of alone? As for getting him to understand that girls have value too he might be a little young to acknowledge that, but just by you being strong and wonderful he is learning that every day.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry he's feeling icky right now. Really though, it's not our job to make sure they never feel icky. It's our job to teach them to cope with it. Much as we want to make them feel better, that's not what's really best for them. No one is going to follow them throughout life making them feel better, so they have to learn to either do it themselves or deal with it.
ReplyDeleteSo recognize and validate his feelings,and then help him to focus on what's good in his life. Help him accept the fact the the boy/girl ratio isn't going to change.