Saturday, August 3, 2013

8 Things...because apparently 10 is too many

My writing mojo is playing an excellent game of hide and seek. And I'm not talking about the type of hide and seek that I play with Babe (MOM...COME FIND ME. I'M HIDING BEHIND THE COUCH BUT PRETEND YOU CAN'T FIND ME!!!!) More like...close your eyes and I'll hide [person leaves the house completely]. I want to write, but I can't find anything to say. Or when I do it's either not post-able (much to private) or...yeah, that's it...much too private. 

I know a good part of the problem is I'm in a wildly reflective mood lately and there are some things better not posted. The other part is that I'm trying hard to get through each day without falling to pieces. Because of my reflective mood I'm analyzing every aspect of every relationship I've ever had; it does not make for a positive outlook. Today I'm pretty sure I'm not cut out for marriage. I'm selfish and particular. Those qualities don't make for a good relationship. And my kids. I don't want my kids to see me in another relationship that fails. They are at such an impressionable age and I don't want them to think that relationships are meant to end. (I know, I know, some relationships are better ended but that's not the point here.)

So anyway, writing has been hard. But I want to. So I decided to google "blog prompts." Yeah, even that didn't help. So I thought I should write a list. Lists are fun and easy and even I can do it! However, my thought process is so jumbled that I can't even think of a topic. Basically all I have is random thoughts so that's what I'm going to go with...

10 8 Random Thoughts

1. I need to stop changing myself to fit what I think other people want. 

2. I need to start living in the moment rather than worrying about the future.

3. I have to start letting myself believe that I have a lot to offer.

4. I think that being responsible for house cleaning is the worst thing about being an adult.

5. I found that living without cable or a regular cell phone out of necessity is harder than it should be.

6. Sometimes the thought of starting my life over literally paralyzes me for a few seconds. 

7. If it weren't for volleyball these last few months I don't know that I would be able to function as well as I have.

8. I want to write 10 things but I can't come up with that many so yeah, 8 it is.

Writing mojo, I miss you!



  1. Awww - I can't imagine what you're going through. If you find writing therapeutic, but you're not wanting to share with the blog world, you should still write and make your posts private. I know it helps me a lot.

    At least you have gorgeous amazingly awesome kids! :)

  2. That must be so so hard. I agree with Shannon. Just write them in Word documents if you need to.