Work Hard and Be Nice

One of the most important things for me as a mother is to teach my children how to be happy, compassionate, understanding, and hard working. I know that I must lead by example and I have made great changes in my life so that I can accomplish exactly that. I believe little bits of inspiration can lead to big changes and I want to expose my children to as much wisdom as I can. One of the ways I like to find wisdom is in quotes. I’m big on quotes. (My Pinterest boards can attest to that.) I love drawing inspiration and wisdom from all kinds and I have begun to use quotes in my decorating.

When I was little my mom had a quote hanging in her kitchen and it always resonated with me. It was, “To know you is to love you and I know you very much.” So simple and yet it has stuck with me all these years. 

My kitchen is my favorite room in the house and it has a style all its own. I knew I wanted a sign to hang above the rafters and a few weeks ago I found the perfect one. It’s everything I want for my children. 

It's such a simple sign, but it contains so much wisdom. I hope it will rub off subconsciously on both of them and I will also use it as an inspiration in my own life so they can see this thought in action. 

Lily

It's my Blog-aversary!

Yesterday marked 4 years since I started blogging! Can’t believe it’s been that long (while at the same time I can’t believe that’s all it has been)! I wish I had kept up the pace all these years, but I’m still happy to have this place waiting for me when I have something to say. It’s been a roller coaster for a while now, but I’m so thankful that I’m on a major upswing these days! Let’s cover a few things, shall we?

The house is coming along nicely! If you recall, I bought this GEM recently.

I still can’t believe it’s ours! The outside is completely perfect. Sure, we might add a swing set in the summer, maybe do a little planting here and there, but if we left it as is, it would be still be absolutely perfect! 

The inside however…well that leaves a little to be desired! The previous owner liked red. A lot! A lot, a lot! So these last few weeks we've been working to make it NOT red! So far, we are making good progress. For instance, our living room…

Bye-bye red!

Different angle (better shot of the color)

It took a lot of hours with all that trim (that had gold and black to cover…yes, she had gold and black painted everywhere to accent the red!) but it was all worth it! I absolutely LOVE the way it came out! And how about those doors?!

We are still working on the master bedroom. Don’t you just love the red pastoral scenes? BARF!

Different angle...more red! 

(But look at those windows!)

All the paper is off now and we have started priming it. The walls are cement board so it’s going to take several layers of primer to make it look good. When it’s done it’s going to be chocolate and mint! Can’t wait!

The last project before we officially move in is the family room. This is what it looked like at the start of yesterday...

After scraping away all the red, we found…PINEAPPLES!

Extreme close up!

[Insert Sponge Bob jokes here]

Aren’t they nauseating beautiful?! Actually, it’s pretty cool because this paper is VERY old! The seller left behind a folder of history on the house, including some old pictures from around the 1920’s-1940’s. In one of the pictures you can clearly see this wallpaper, so it’s incredibly old! I find that cool! (But also ugly.) We aren’t sure yet if we’ll paint over it or undertake the tedious task of scraping it all off. Neither is going to be easy, so we have to decide soon. Once we are done, this room will be green on top with white below the chair rail. Can’t wait!!

The house has been consuming most of our time lately, but we haven’t let that stop us from having a good time in other areas as well. For instance, my dad and I took Bud to his first NY Rangers game last weekend! OMG you guys!! I’m not sure who was more excited!! He kept saying “I can’t believe I’m really here! I can’t believe I’m one of thousands that gets to come!” (At first he said “hundreds” and I had to tell him it was WAY more than hundreds…that made him in awe even more!) It was such a great night (helped by the fact that they spanked the Hurricanes!) and one I will never forget!! I don’t think he will either!!

You have to have a soft pretzel when you go! He thoroughly enjoyed this tradition!

Babe is a bit too young for a Rangers game (attention span, interest, etc.) so my mom spoiled her at a kid’s spa for the evening! Talk about exciting! This place was amazing! It couldn't have been more perfect for her!! She had her nails and toes done and a blue hair extension put in! She was in her glory! 

She just belongs in a place like this!

She never misses an opportunity to ham it up!

So yes, we've been busy these last few weeks but enjoying every second! Here’s to another year!

Lily

Next Week

You guys! See that house! That's going to be MY house...next week!! Holy Good God I'm so excited!! I cannot wait to become a homeowner again! This will be the 3rd home that I've owned, so I know it's not all sunshine and roses, but I am SO SICK of renting and dealing with landlords and having my kids shoved into one bedroom! This is a four bedroom house on a half acre of land! Yes please!!! 

I really feel like this is my new beginning. I've been in a suspended state of transition for so long and I am SO READY to be settled! This will be my 7th move in 10 years. So very ready to settle! 

Talking to my family and friends, I try to put into words how happy I am with where I am in life and how happy I am in my relationship with LC. It's not easy to express the level of happiness I feel. I appreciate him more than words can express. It is true that my point of view is slightly altered because of what I dealt with for so long, but it doesn't change how wonderful he is, all it does is make me more appreciative of what I have now. As one friend commented, "Welcome to a healthy relationship." I think that sums it up perfectly. I feel so relieved to be appreciated and respected and valued. Those are really no-brainers in a relationship, I know, but I didn't have that for almost a decade. The shift is indescribable! Did I mention I'm happy?

As I get closer to closing on the house, my excitement level is increasing exponentially! I can't wait to paint and arrange and decorate and all the other stuff that goes along with it! We have decided to delay our move-in so that we can get all the painting done before our stuff is in there. We have a LOT of painting to do. The previous owner liked red...a lot!!! Everything is red! Even the molding has red stripes! It's going to be oh-so-fun to cover but YAY for good primer! We'll make all. the. red. ancient history!

Speaking of ancient history...the house was built in 1837!! How cool is that?! It's the second oldest home still standing in the town! It's one of the few homes that escaped the great fire of the town in the 1860's. As you can see, it's brick, which I love! I grew up in a brick house so there's a lot of sentimental attachment for me. The previous owner bought it in disrepair but spent the last 11 years fixing it up and restoring it. I am hugely benefiting from her hard work! The brick was all repointed and everything is in tip-top shape! 

My Pinterest boards are blowing up with new ideas and fun ways to decorate and make it my own. One of the things I'm most appreciative about is the full support that LC gives me with this whole thing. As a typical guy, he doesn't particularly care about the color we choose or the style we go with, but he indulges me and goes with me to pick things out and is fully invested when we do. He doesn't put down my choices or make me feel like I don't know what I'm doing. He has great ideas and is great at making decisions and he supports my decisions, not just in words, but in his actions. He backs up his words with the way he treats me and responds to me and works with me. Again, welcome to a healthy relationship! It's a breath of fresh air and it makes me truly excited about this whole process. I know I won't have the stress I used to have in these situations. I know he's in it with me and that means everything. And it makes everything so much more exciting!

Thankfully the house is really in move-in condition. All the changes we are going to make are style choices (I choose not old lady style). I will be taking lots of pictures as we transform the house into our home. I hope to detail it here, but let's be real, it will probably be one post with a massive photo dump...but who doesn't love a photo dump?!

NEXT WEEK AND IT'S MINE!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lily

Changes

There have been some changes in my life over the course of the last year or so (#understatement). One of the biggest changes has been my ability to be a mother to my children. Trying to define what being a “bad mom” means isn’t easy and is highly subjective. My kids have always been loved and cared for, but when I was still married I wasn’t winning any Mom of the Year awards. I knew it, my ex made sure I knew it, and that only made things worse. The feelings of inadequacy, knowing that you are being judged by your spouse, the stress and anxiety of dealing with a bad marriage, it all combined to make me less than present for my children. I knew I wasn’t doing the best I could, but I also couldn’t bring myself to fix it. I hid from it, from them. Everything had me on edge and I couldn’t handle the little things. I know now that a very big part of it was that I wasn’t allowed to have “me” time. I was made to feel guilty about liking different things or wanting to do something that didn’t involve them. I knew in my heart it was ok to want to take care of me, but that didn’t help the guilt (I was raised Catholic after all!) when I was constantly told I must not love them if I didn’t want to be with them at all times. That’s all pieces of why I ended my marriage. I couldn’t be the person/mother/wife I knew I could be. I wasn’t allowed to be the person/mother/wife I knew I could be. I felt like I was always gasping for air.

I am a new person. Or, rather, I’m finally the person I knew I could be. Happiness is a powerful state of being. Not only can I BE THERE for my children, I WANT to be there for them. I can actually enjoy them and revel in those “their only small once” moments. I am able to step back in those stressful moments and smile and joke and ease the tension. I can show my kids how to deal with stress and how to love each other whole-heartedly. They are learning to love by example and it’s because I’m present now to show them.

A lot of my happiness stems from being with a person who respects me, appreciates me, and encourages me to be myself, with all my faults...and he loves me anyway. He does not ask me, nor expects me, to define myself in relation to him. It’s such a simple thing, but it has completely changed my life.

I finally feel like I am acceptable the way I am, I can mother the way I know is best for me and my kids, I can explore new avenues of myself without fear of judgment or backlash, and I am becoming a role model for my kids. That one is the most important to me. I can show my kids that happiness is the norm, acceptance is good, narrow-mindedness is not a virtue, and finding yourself is the most important thing you can do.

There is one more change that is coming down the pipe. I am finally going to be settled in a way I haven’t been for over 14 years. I’m finally going to have a home that I will live in for a very long time! I don’t want to say anything about the house specifically because things are still in the beginning stages, but I need to comment on the significance of this next step.

Shortly after my sister died we moved to a new house, and very shortly after that (two weeks) I went away to college. Looking back, I can see I have never felt settled from that point on. I’ve owned two homes and rented numerous places in the last 14 years, but none of them have felt like home. I was never fully invested in any of those places. I never fully unpacked in any of them. One place in particular, I never even hung a single thing on the walls and boxes remained in almost every room. I couldn’t bring myself to invest in furniture or décor or do anything to make it feel like something other than temporary. I got close in my last house. We renovated it from top to bottom, and there were a few stamps of ownership there, but it was still lacking something. It was lacking happiness.

I haven’t even closed on this new house yet, but I already feel settled. I feel ready to let go of all the things I’ve schlepped from one place to the next, always hanging on because I didn’t know if I’d need it in the next place. Nothing has happened yet but I already feel lighter. I know this will be where I live and where I raise my children to be well-adjusted, happy adults. This is the last step to pass into the next chapter in my life. I can close the door on the transient lifestyle I somehow found myself in. I can put down roots, finish the things I’ve wanted to accomplish, and really invest in my future.

I am so excited for this next chapter, to close the door on the transition phase and finally live in the present. It’s so simple, yet has been such a long journey. It’s been quite the journey, but I’ve made the right changes to get onto the path that’s meant for me. **Deep exhale** 

Lily

Good Housekeeping

How to get Lily to clean her house.
An excerpt from “The Practical Guide to Dealing With Lily.”

I’m not so good in the house chore area. (As I write this incredible understatement my husband, who’s at work and not with me, has the undeniable urge to guffaw and he’s not sure why.) My motto is “Eh, I’ll clean it tomorrow.” Our house only gets vacuumed when my husband can’t stand it anymore and does it himself. I might dust if Babe starts playing with dust bunnies and calls them by name. I may sweep my floors if I get sick of stepping on stuff and hurting my feet. It’s possible I’ll clean the toilet if Bud left particularly bad skid marks (quite amazing for a child of his size).  Heck, I might even fold the laundry that’s been sitting in the basket for a week if we don’t have any clothes left in our drawers. (Probably not)

However, if you really want to see results, if you must see your face in the bathroom mirror, if it’s vital for you to walk in a straight path through the house without stepping on toys, if it’s critical to have counters that aren’t sticky, then I recommend you tell me someone* is coming over in a very short period of time. Magically everything is in its place. Dare I say, things might even sparkle. You have never seen a more highly motivated, dedicated house cleaner than yours truly if a house guest is imminent. It truly is a miraculous transformation.

This amazing display of motivation was brought to the forefront yesterday when we got a call at 6:30 to say that a window salesman would be at the house at 7:00. (The only reason we agreed to this was because we entered a raffle to win three free windows and I can’t take a chance that this “visit” is to tell us that we won. Please be aware that I know full well I have a better chance of being the next American Idol then winning these windows. But I’m not chancing it people!)

Our house was literally sparkling! Empty boxes with no home found a home in a heap in the garage where we were certain the salesman wouldn’t go, toys got shoved into were put away in the toy closet, the mop saw the light of day. Did you know I have a really beautiful house? I didn’t either!

So we wait for the guy to show up. And waited. And waited. Yeah, he never showed up. I’m beginning to suspect my husband was lying and just wanted the house clean. Sneaky. Very sneaky!

*Excludes people who visit often and have already seen my house in disarray, i.e. parental units of either homeowner.

Lily

Almost done

We are officially back in our dining room (although I was really enjoying using dinner time to catch up on our DVR). The room still needs the crown molding so I promise to give updates when that’s done but being that we are going to Montana (WOOHOO) I know it will be a loooong time before it actually gets put up (we haven’t even bought it yet). So here are the “Almost Done” pictures.

If you need a refresher, this was the before...way before and in progress. (So, totally didn’t realize it’s been a full month since this project started. I can’t even tell you why it took so long. It didn’t feel that long, that’s probably a good thing.) (I am probably mostly to blame for it taking a month. I’ve dragged the family all over the eastern seaboard the last few weeks for family functions.) (Ok, I’m definitely to blame but whatever, I’m the mom!)

I love it! My husband…he’s letting it grow on him. I think he’s just being nice when he says that but whatever, I’m the mom! 

Please keep in mind that I live in Central NY and that means the closest home goods stores are about an hour away (not to be confused with Home Goods stores. If you are lucky enough to live near one of those I hope you know how lucky you are.) I haven't found curtains or art work yet but if I waited for everything to be perfect all of your children would be graduating from college before I posted any more pictures. So this is what you get for now. 

Tell me honestly what you think about the blue. I won't un-follow you for more than a day. Promise!

 

 

Another list (because I can)

I had so much fun writing my last list that I’m going to force another one on you (don’t worry, it’s not nearly as long). Enjoy!

Things I did this weekend:

1. Drove a total of ten hours in one day (and by “drove” I mean rode shotgun while my husband did almost all of the driving. See # 4)
2. Saw a GIGANTIC skateboard traveling down the Garden State Parkway on the back of a flatbed. (oh if only I had my camera at the ready for that one!)
3. Saw 3 pink cars in a five mile stretch. (Really? You choose the pink one? On purpose?)
4. Drove 30 minutes out of 10 hours in the car before almost throwing up about 12 miles from home.
5. Threw up massively once we got home.
6. Had a 2 year old throw up her lunch of mac and cheese all over me and my bedroom floor.
7. Painted the dining room.
8. Fell off a ladder while painting the dining room.

Overall it was a splendid weekend. Hope yours was just as action packed!

Happy Memorial Day

My husband and I are not planners, we are go alongers (I don’t care if that’s not a word, I’m making it one). And being the go alongers that we are we having nothing planned for this Memorial Day weekend because no one we know has invited us to do anything. It’s very sad really but what are you going to do? (Doing something would require planning and I think I’ve covered that well enough to know that’s not going to happen.)

Don’t get me wrong, we won’t be sitting at home glued to the TV or anything (although maybe we should because we have a lot of DVR catching up to do.) We’ll get to the park, and take walks, and work on the house, stuff like that but there will be no big parties for us. Unless you count spackling the dining room a party because then I think we may just have the biggest shindig of the year! Everyone is welcome to come over and help!! BYOFM&PK (Bring Your Own Face Mask and Putty Knife, of course)

What about everyone else? How are you celebrating?

Thank you veterans and those still serving for protecting our country and giving me and my family our freedom!