Happy Fourth!

Happy Fourth!

Babe was there too! She just preferred to chill with S all day!

Lily

I guess it was bound to happen, I just wish I'd been prepared

Have you ever been in a room full of people who are welcoming and genuinely glad to have you there but have never felt so lonely in your life? I'm thankful for a lot of things, most of all my kids and my family. But that's what makes it so hard to know that I just am not a part of a really good one anymore. 

I had the kids for thanksgiving, but for a variety of reasons it made the most sense to spend it with my ex and his family. His family are some of the nicest, most welcoming and caring people I know. In fact, they are a big part of the reason I chose to marry him in the first place. I like being a part of their group. And today was no different. Except it was. I've already mourned the loss of my marriage but now I'm struggling with the loss of his family. They are nothing but supportive of me and again, always welcoming, but it was very obvious today that I can't be a part of it anymore, no matter how much we all think I can be. I didn't expect today to be quite so difficult. As in any divorce, things aren't always pleasant, but we've made a really solid effort to keep things civil and nice, particularly for the kids. So while I knew it would probably be a little awkward, I didn't expect to have such a strong emotional reaction to the day. 

My ex's girlfriend was there for part of the day too (which I knew ahead of time so I was prepared - I thought). I like her, she's been a family friend forever and so I know her and her kids pretty well. She's a great mom and I think they could have something really good. They just go well together. But that's just it. It's like they already have this nice little family unit going and I'm just excess baggage. I know my kids always need me and I'm their mother and all that comes with it. But my ex and his girlfriend are able to provide that sense of family that my kids are so desperately missing right now. My ex is living in our family home, and while my apartment is comfortable, I can't provide that family feeling. All that I have here belongs to my ex. This is his territory and all I've ever been a part of up here has been because of him and the people he knows. I've never felt that as strongly as I did today. My family lives far away and I never made friends with anyone while we were together (well I did, but that's why I'm not married anymore - but that's besides the point). Because we don't get to see my family very often it makes it special when we get to see them, but I can't provide that on a constant basis for my kids, and I don't get to experience it for myself either. And it all leaves me feeling hollow, inadequate, and unbelievably sad. 

Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that my kids have my in-laws to love and care for them and provide them with the sense of family they need and deserve. And I am thankful that my ex has found a person that will love and treat my children they way they should be treated. But I can't help but feel I'm being left behind and I'm not good enough. 

I'm counting my blessings today, but I'm also mourning the loss of what it felt like to be a part of my family. 

Lily

Words make it all worth it

I didn't get breakfast in bed. I didn't get jewelry or clothes. I got something a whole lot better...

From Bud:

1. Mom is really fun

2. Mom is thoughtful

3. Mom is very funny

4. Mom is very nice

5. Mom is very strong

6. Mom is very fast

7. Mom is very smart

8. Mom forgets a lot
(Thanks Bud. He giggled when I read this one. He loved that he could tease me with it)

9. Mom is pretty
(Awww, that's so much better then the time he told me my boobs look weird)

10. Mom loves a lot of people

(Especially a certain little boy and his sister)

The best thing about Mom is she makes me feel better when I am sad. She likes to help us when we need help. Her favorite foods are chili and...

stir fry. Mom knows a lot about reading books. I wish she didn't have to cook so much. (clearly I have not hidden the fact that I hate making dinner) I love when we go to the park.

From Babe:

Yes Babe, I am 5...don't ever forget that!

I do love blue!

Clearly I love chili...too bad they hate it!

Can you guess Babe's favorite song for me to sing to her? (It says Twinkle, Twinkle in case you can't read the teacher's cramped writing)

I do so very much love the restaurant la Iguana! I'm glad she knows it! :-)

She's a fun game player

How can I argue with that? :-)

Bud insisted on calling me "Mother" the entire day. I told him he didn't have to call me Mother just because it was Mother's Day but he informed me that: "I have to! It wouldn't be polite if I didn't!" Well, how could I argue with that! So "Mother" it was...all day! 

The weather left a little to be desired yesterday but that didn't stop us from taking a bike ride to the park and it was the perfect excuse to snuggle on the couch and watch the Rangers win game 6 to force a game 7 watch cartoons until Babe fell asleep leaning up against me. I couldn't have asked for a better Mother's Day!

Lily

Princess Butterfly turns 3

Happy Birthday to my favorite Princess Butterfly! I can’t believe she is 3! Next thing you know she’ll be calling people a bitch and almost pushing her brother down the stairs. Oh wait, she’s already doing that. They grow up so fast!

I know you're all jealous of my mad cake decorating skillz!

(No, I did not put the wrong # of candles on the cake. I didn't think to snap a picture until after she blew out the candles and Bud grabbed one to lick the frosting off  before I could stop him.)

More evidence as to why I sometimes doubt I'm her mother, despite being present at the birth.

(It's a packet of bracelets, nail polish, and earrings)

Every Butterfly needs some flying time

This Tinker Fairy's talent is cuteness

Pure joy!

Happy Birthday Princess Butterfly. I love you forever.

Lily

Ukrainian Easter Egg-stravaganza - the recap

Every year my mom hosts our annual Ukrainian Easter Egg-stravaganza. It is a time for food, family, friends, and most of all eggs! Yes, Easter Eggs! This year was the 26^th year of the event and it did not disappoint.

If you’ve never heard of Ukrainian Easter Eggs then shame on you allow me to explain a bit about them. It is the art of decorating eggs using beeswax and dye. The designs are often intricate and it can take up to several hours to complete a particularly complex egg (or 10 minutes if you just make polka dots). You apply the wax using a stylus (or kistka) and then dip the egg in the first color. After blotting the egg dry you apply more wax, then dip in the next color. You repeat each step several times, making the design more intricate and colorful. The final result is (usually) very beautiful eggs with multiple colors and designs.

Here are some examples:

My eggs, plus my husbands car egg (he rocks at making cars on eggs...among other things)

Aspiring hand models. I think they all have a future, no?

Just because she can

Jamalee's egg on the left, Wench's egg on the right

How awesome are these??! THAT is talent! 

(please note: Smidge's sister made these, my talent does not extend to bird drawings)

Bud's attempt at an Angry Bird. Not bad if you ask me!

I have hand modeling aspirations too!

Smidge had alien egg aspirations. She just HAD to get polka dots on her egg and if it means getting blobs (the bane of every UEE decorator) then by golly she's going to work with her blobs!

(Smidge, is that the only egg you made? Why do I not have more pictures for you?)

My best egg this year

I made this one for my Godmother

I like the purple

Wench was majorly jealous of my flowers. 

I'll teach you next year Wench!

This was my first attempt at this design. I have plans for next year! Oh, I have plans!

Seeing this in the picture makes me realize how unsymmetrical it is. Crap. Just focus on the pretty colors, k?

Wench's egg

My favorite of Wench's eggs

Well done Wench, well done!

Jamalee's egg

My favorite Jamalee egg! 

Excellent J, excellent!

We all really enjoy making eggs that’s what she said but mostly we enjoy each other’s company. I don’t know how many times I had to run to the bathroom before I peed myself from laughing so hard. (Also, my friends and cousin learned that it is in fact true that after kids it’s much harder not to pee yourself. You’re welcome ladies. Get your trampoline jumping in while you can!) From our hand modeling aspirations to our non-stop movie quotes we barely stopped laughing the entire time. We’ve decided that once a year is not enough for making eggs. We would like to institute more egg decorating holidays. We are thinking Christmas and Halloween are the best candidates. I think I could make some lovely Christmas themed eggs!

Until next year...

Lily

The Apple doesn't fall far at all

(If you haven't read my Valentine's post from yesterday read here so that the following makes sense.)

There is no denying I am my mother's child. I received this email from her this morning about the conversation she had with my father yesterday.

Mom: Do you want to do anything for Valentine's Day?

Dad: No, you?

Mom: No.

Dad: That's why I Love you.

~~~~~

Mom: rummage through my card drawer and come up with a pretty rose card with a blank message. I write something sweet and sentimental and leave it on Dad's dresser.

Dad: takes the card and crosses out his name to mine and mine to his and leaves it on the Kitchen counter.

Ahh, true love after 37 years!

My mom said it best, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

Lily

We've been married long enough

Last week~

Me: Let’s not get anything for each other on Valentine’s Day.

Husband: For real?

Me: Yeah. Is that ok?

Husband: Yeah, it’s ok but you have to promise to really not get me anything.

Me: Well, I picked out a card a few weeks ago so I’ll probably give you that, but I’m not going to buy you anything else. Ok?

Husband: Ok

Last night~

Husband: You didn’t get me anything right? I don’t want to not have anything for you if you got something for me.

Me: I didn't buy you anything, I only got you that card.

Husband: I didn’t get you a card.

Me: Would you prefer I didn't give you the card?

Husband: Yeah, I think that would be best.

I think we win the Super Romantic Award, no?

I did sing him my Valentine song this morning though. That should count for something.

Will you be my v-a-l-e-n-t-i-n-e? If you will you'll surely know how happy I will be! Sugar, spice, and all things nice, that's what you are to me. Will you be my v-a-l-e-n-t-i-n-e?

(He said yes. Score!)

(Do you think singing that song gets me out of having to make dinner tonight?)

(Yeah, I don't think so either.)

Happy Valentine's day everyone! 

Lily

Thought Vomit Thursday

So you might not know this about me but I think about some really random crap. (I know! Hard to believe, right!) Most of the time I spare you guys the details but I have come across the perfect platform to spew my mind vomit all across the Internet. 

Thought Vomit Thursdays was brought to my attention by Josey over at “My Cheap Version of therapy”

 (Go ahead and click the link. She’s fun and has an adorable new baby.)

Here goes…

So Christmas really did go smoothly. We all had a good time and PLENTY to eat! Here are some of the highlights from Christmas morning…

Showing off our designer Christmas headbands
(My dad knows the designer! We are so posh!)

Best. Present. Ever.

He got a calendar. He's obsessed with calendars!

Babe hugging her new favorite baby doll

I don't think I need to explain why I posted this picture. Awesome.

If you look at Babe's feet, they are resting on one of her favorite Christmas toys. A real metal shopping cart! Totally awesome!

Later, after everyone left, I was walking around the house and realized just how great a Christmas it was. Nothing says AWESOME CHRISTMAS PARTY like the wreckage left behind.

The remainder of the nativity scene. I'm not sure when the rest of it was moved.

Gingerbread house...or what was left of it anyway.

So desolate! 

Partied out

A good Christmas was had by all! 

So my friend Smidge, you remember Smidge, right? She is my idol (well, I don’t actually want to do what she’s doing but I’m really, extremely, super-duper proud of her for doing it). She is going to run a ½ marathon at Disney on Saturday! She’s been training for a long time now and she’s run more in one stint then I have ever run in my life and she’s a tad nervous but I know she is going to do so awesome and earn her Donald Duck Award for finishing the run. I don’t know about you, but to get a Donald Duck award for anything is pretty freaking awesome! She has to run 13.1 miles in under 3.5 hours and just thinking about that makes me want to crawl in bed and cover my head with the sheets! So please join me in saying “GO SMIDGE GO!” and “YOU CAN DO IT!” and “Don’t get on the wrong bus and end up at the finish line instead of the start line!” YAY SMIDGE!”

As always, thinking about exercise immediately makes me think about food. Which leads me to my next thought vomit…they are now making Gluten Free Marshmallow Pebbles and can I just say THANK YOU POST CEREAL for bringing joy back to my life! (I may or may not have been caught in the pantry eating the marshmallows from the box by my children.)

Via

And since I mentioned exercise I should also mention that I got Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred for Christmas. She is kicking my ass! I’ve stuck with it for a week now and I’m ready to move onto level two. I haven’t lost any weight (muscle weighs more than fat, right?) and my stomach isn’t any smaller (I don’t think that it has anything to do with the entire tray of Rice Krispie treats I ate in a day and a half.) but I can now do 15 real pushups. In a row. Without stopping. Honestly, the only way to celebrate that achievement is with an entire tray of Rice Krispie Treats! Yay me!

But again, please send good vibes to Smidge and if she does as awesome as I’m expecting maybe I’ll post a picture of her Donald Duck award and make you all jealous!! (You know, if she ACTUALLY SENDS ME A PICTURE. Or, if she posts it on Facebook because otherwise, I doubt I’ll ever get a picture. SMIDGE, ARE YOU LISTENING?)

Yes, this is Smidge, and I love her! (In all her pink ruffled glory!)

Lily

Fridge Fiasco

Few things first:

1)  So sorry for being away so long. I promise never to do it again until next Christmas vacation.

B)  HAPPY NEW YEAR!

C) I am so far behind on reading all of your blogs and I am very, very sorry! I plan to rectify the situation as quickly as possible but don’t be surprised if you are getting random comments from me in like 2 weeks!

4) I was going to make this a Thought Vomit post but the Fridge Fiasco is so long-winded that I think I’ll have to save the rest of my stories for another post.

Without further ado, the Fridge Fiasco…

During the weeks leading up to Christmas (in which I was hosting 17 people for a 4 day period and 27 on Christmas day) I started to, umm, let’s just say, freak the frick out about our fridge situation. Our fridge wasn’t necessarily small but it stays pretty well stocked with moldy food when it’s just the four of us. Add in ALL the people that were coming, all bringing their contributions to the food orgy, and I knew my fridge was not going to handle the load! We started talking about getting a new fridge but I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to convince Ebenezer Scrooge my husband to splurge for it. Like any good husband and wife team, we debated the issue for many days without actually coming to a decision. Thankfully (for me) my husband mentioned it at work and one of the guys in his training class used to be a manager at Lowe’s and still works there part-time. He told my husband to come down and he’d see what he could do for us, so we did. We found one that we really liked and the display model was the only one left and they weren’t getting any more in so he told us we could have it for cost! For cost!!! (That sound you hear is the angels singing.)

However, we still weren’t sure if we should even get a fridge so we didn’t buy it that night. The guy told us we could call him the next day (Saturday) if we decided to get it. On Saturday afternoon we finally came to the decision to get it and my husband called him. I’ll save you the play by play on this part and just tell you that the sale wasn’t finalized until Tuesday so delivery was scheduled for Thursday. Being that both me and my husband work until 4:30 we asked for evening delivery and they assured us that wasn’t a problem.

So at 6:30am (that’s in the morning, just in case you didn’t catch the little “am” tacked onto the 6:30) on Thursday morning we got a phone call from the truck driver saying that the truck was packed and they were coming to our house right then. Ok, so much for evening delivery. The store is about 20 minutes from our house so they should get to our house a little before 7. I had to run Bud up to my in-law’s so they could bring him to school when the time came and I would bring Babe up later (my father-in-law babysits for us) on my way to work. By the time I got back from dropping him off the guys were there and getting the fridge out of the truck. They had to bring it in through the back door so they started to bring it around and my husband ran out to help them. As he did he realized they were wheeling around a black fridge. We did not buy a black fridge. It turns out they packed the truck wrong so our fridge was in the very back of the truck. They had to completely unpack the truck to get ours, then repack the truck before bringing it in.

At this point, my husband HAD to get going to work so he tells me if they have trouble with the cabinets (since our old fridge was not as wide) that they could just push over the bottom one (it was never bolted down in anticipation of getting a new fridge since we moved in) and the top one they could just take down. No problem. Right? Yeah.

So after removing the back door so the fridge could fit in they start to slide the fridge into place. The cabinets are not far enough apart so I tell them to push the lower one out of the way and tell them the screw gun is on the counter and they can take the upper cabinet down. Oh no! No, they can’t (for liability reasons) so I asked if they would help me, which they did. Thankfully my father taught me how to use power tools so I was able to work the screw gun while they supported the cabinet. Eventually (after stripping a screw…which I do NOT blame on my power tool-using ability…it was the screw’s fault) we got the cabinet down. They started to push the fridge back but they couldn’t get the lower cabinet far enough aside (we have a heater underneath it and the cord was caught). I asked if they could just push it back far enough to plug in so it could cool down while we were at work and we’d be able to switch all the food over when we got home. Perfect plan!

Oh, did I mention, the entire time we were fumbling with that Babe was in the living room watching cartoons and eating Cocoa Puffs? Yeah, so I went to check on her and there she is, sitting very comatose nicely in front of the TV, with the bowl of Cocoa Puffs dumped on my carpet…chocolatey milk and gooey puffs all over the floor. Awesome! So I ran into the kitchen to grab paper towels, only to be stopped by one of the guys. He held up the cord for the fridge and one of the prongs was laying at a 90 degree angle to the other. Now, I’m no electrician but I was pretty sure that that wasn’t a good thing. Sometime between unplugging it at the store (because it was working at the store) and being put into my kitchen the cord was damaged and, despite the delivery guys best efforts, it would not work when it was plugged in. Sigh.

Soooo, now what? “Well, we’ll take this one back to the store because it’s just a giant paper weight now.” according to the delivery guy. Awesome. Oh, I don’t think I mentioned that my aunt (aka. FAS – Favorite Aunt Sue) was scheduled to arrive at about 8pm that night. Yeah. Awesome!

They told me to call the store and they would send another fridge (which I knew they didn’t have since we bought the very last one) or they could help me find another option.

At this point I am VERY late for work, I have no new fridge, I have cabinets off the wall and the contents of said cabinet strewn all over my kitchen. I HAD to work until 4:30, do my food shopping after that, and get my house put back together before FAS arrived at 8. I’m not able to get in touch with my husband at work (unless it’s an extreme emergency, but somehow I didn’t think the fridge qualified) but I did text him so he’d find out eventually and I just left everything the way it was and went to work.

I called the store on the way to work and they guy was very helpful, but long story short, I didn’t like any other fridge so I was going to have to suck it up with my old one. All my other guests were arriving on Friday so we wouldn’t have time to go and look in person so it just wasn’t going to happen.

Fast-forward to 5:30, I’m almost done with my food shopping when my husband calls and said they fixed the cord on the fridge and if we want it he has to go pick it up at the store right away. I had to hurry home so I could relieve him of kid duty and he went and picked it up. I wasn’t quite sure how we were going to get the fridge into our house (we don’t have a hand truck and his dad’s is missing a wheel…not the most helpful) but thankfully my husband came thru and borrowed one.

What I didn’t know was that they didn’t actually fix the cord, they just gave him another one that he could splice on to the existing cord. Awesome. (Thankfully, my husband can do that sort of thing.)

He also called in reinforcements so his dad and friend came to help move the fridge into the house and into place.

Luckily for FAS, she arrived just in time to help me move all of my food from the old fridge to the new fridge. (Thankfully, she and my uncle were able to squeeze past the old fridge which was sitting smack in the middle of the kitchen.)

So, it all worked out but it was definitely a fiasco. Thank goodness we had the second fridge (we put the old one in the garage so we could use that one too) because we filled up BOTH fridges by the time everyone got there.

Christmas itself and the 4-day orgy of food went fabulous. I have many stories (including one that involves handcuffs, lost handcuff keys, and my 13 year old cousin) but they will have to wait for next post because if you made it this far already I know you are ready for a break.

Next post…Though Vomit! Yay!

Lily

Friday Flashback - Christmas countdown

Christmas 2010

I don’t know what’s better, if Bud is throwing gang signs or if he’s flipping off the camera. Either way, I don’t know a better way to say Merry Christmas than having your 4 year old (at the time) holding up his middle finger in your annual Christmas photo.

Lily