And then God said...

I read a book that was set in Bible times and locations. I forget what the name of it is (hey I forgot something, there’s a surprise) but one part has stuck with me. Every month when the woman of the family got a visit from good ol’ Aunt Flo they had to spend the entire time in the red tent, far away from the rest of the family, until they were “clean” again. Now I understand this was highly discriminatory but maybe, just maybe, those men had the right idea. I don’t really think it had anything to do with being “dirty”. I think it had everything to do with dealing with the bitchiness and mood swings of the women. Since the men were able to make decrees like “go spend the week in that tent” they took advantage. You have to imagine they were pretty happy with the arrangement. And to be honest, I bet the women probably were too. They didn’t have to suffer their idiot husbands who were incapable of doing anything even remotely right during that week. Then, when Aunt Flo took her leave they could reenter family life and be nice and pleasant and enjoyable to be around. It really sounds like a win-win!

Pay back is a...

What's the point of having children if you can't have a little fun? I know this picture will come back to haunt her. There is no escaping your nerdy roots! Especially when mom has photographic evidence!

Yes, those are goggles. Yes, she LOVES to wear them! She calls them her glasses and when I read to her at night she has to wear them.

She looks so innocent in this picture but don't let her fool you. She's a sly little devil! But so damn cute too!

Didga know?

Allergies are contagious. I know this because Babe now has the same fever that Bud had two days ago and since the doctor said his was "just allergies" then obviously it's the same for her. Betcha didn't know allerigies are contagious or that they cause a fever...and vomiting in the middle of the night, completely plastering me and the floor. Betcha didn't know that.

Betcha didn't know that I dislike their doctor a great deal. Betcha didn't know that I'm making it my mission to find a new doctor for them as soon as possible.

Betcha didn't know it's disgusting when a four year old sneezes bloody snot all over your keyboard while you are typing!

Betcha didn't know that fitting three people, regardless of age, on one office chair and trying to type with one hand while the other two fight about who gets what percentage of my lap isn't easy.

Betcha didn't know it's equally disgusting when your four year old sneezes bloody snot into his cereal bowl.

Betcha didn't know I hope my husband doesn't come home to find the kids duct taped to the wall and me watching reruns of Springer.

Allergic to doctors maybe

A few weeks ago everyone in the family (including extended family like grandma and aunts and cousins) all came down with a nasty, lengthy cold. For Bud it developed into an ear infection and we took him to get antibiotics. A few days later my husband came down with it and had a terrible time getting over it. A few days after that it was my turn. My husband urged me to get to the doctor right away so that I didn't have to go through what he went through. I RARELY go to the doctor as evident from being dropped by my doctor (that's a whole other story) because I know they really can't do much, especially if it's "just a cold". I'm a little quicker to bring the kids but I still generally stay away unless their symptoms are particularly bad. But, with my husband still trying to get over it and knowing how terrible it was for him I figured I'd go in. After looking me over and asking me questions the doctor proclaimed...I had allergies! Yes, allergies. Even though seven (SEVEN!) other people in my family that I see EVERYDAY had the same exact symptoms, and at least two were given antibiotics (only two because the rest didn't go to the doctor). Oh, and did I mention that everyone that did go to the doctor was seen by the SAME doctor. So, same symptoms, same family, same doctor...and I'm the only one to have allergies? I was sure to question him about it and he explained it away and gave me a sample of Clarinex (at least I didn't have to pay for it!) and off I went. The Clarinex definitely helped my symptoms but it's an antihistamine, of course it's going to clear up a stuffy nose. But anyway...whatever! 

On Friday evening Bud came down with a fever that lasted all night long (despite Tylenol - that lessened it but didn't get rid of it completely) so on Saturday morning we took him to the walk-in clinic that is associated with our doctor's office. After waiting long enough for the girl that was there for her first pregnancy test to give birth to a full term baby, we were finally seen (by the same doctor). He checked Bud over and asked him questions and guess what he has!!! Go ahead, guess! Yes, he was running a fever of 101 for more than 12 hours and apparently it's because he has...allergies! I asked if it was common for allergies to cause a fever (in my best, most skeptical voice I could muster). Now, I'm no doctor, I don't even play one on TV, but I'm pretty sure fever means infection. His explanation was indeed that the allergies are causing him to run a fever.

At that point I was so beyond hating this guy that I just asked what I could give him and left.

Yes, it's allergy season, yes, people do suffer from allergies in this area more than others. However, that does NOT mean that every person who comes in, especially if they are running a fever, has allergies! Even if a person does actually suffer from allergies, it doesn't mean they don't ALSO get sick! Ugh!!!

So this week I will be looking for a new doctor. One who doesn't have the same answer for every person that comes in.

Next step: Drooling...

Before I had kids I always heard stories about “mommy brain” and how kids suck the memory right out of you. I completely believed the stories but I didn’t fully realize just how bad it could be. In the last week I have had three incidents (two in one day) that have completely confirmed my case of mommy brain!!

Last Friday we were taking a trip down to my parents house. I wanted to get gas during lunch so we could leave as soon as I got home. I decided to run other errands while I was out and ended up completely forgetting to get gas. I didn’t even realize it until hours later! I was so mad at myself because we’d already be getting a late start and now we’d be even later.

I ordered pizza before I left work so I could swing by and get it (now after getting gas) so I got to the place, paid for the pizza and got two towns away before I realized the pizza was still sitting on the counter! I had to turn around and wasted a half hour backtracking!

Yesterday I had to pick up my husband’s car keys from the repair shop because they’d be closed by the time I could get home to pick him up and bring him back. So I stopped at the shop, paid for the repairs, and left. Notice anything left out of that sequence? Yeah, TOTALLY forgot the keys! I didn’t even realize it until we were getting ready to go pick it up. Thankfully when I called someone was still at the shop and he said he’d leave them in the car for us.

I have never had a good memory, that’s no secret, but it seems like 28 is a little young for dementia to be setting in. I guess I should feel fortunate that I haven’t lost one of my kids yet…but I guess there is still time!

Willpower

So in November my dear friend from work and I decided that we should walk the stairs during lunch to get some exercise and to get out of our seats for a few minutes each day. It’s good exercise because it doesn’t take long but you can feel the benefits. A short time later we both came down with colds that forced us to take a break from our climb but we both resolved to get back to it as soon as we were healthy. In the meantime she was diagnosed with exercise/cold induced asthma. I didn’t ask for a doctor’s note but I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she could opt-out of our daily ascension.

Although I lost my stair partner I still had every intention of continuing when I was healthy again. (Notice I used the past tense in that sentence.) In order to keep me on track I decided to set a daily reminder to pop up just before lunch so I couldn’t use the “I forgot” excuse. Well it is now April and every day I “dismiss” my pop-up reminder without actually doing it. At this point it’s mocking me. Taunting me.  Laughing at me that I have no will power. To prove it wrong I’ve decided I’m not giving in. I’ll show that reminder who’s boss! I’m too stubborn strong to give in to peer pressure!

I miss you Tor

Eleven years ago today my sister got into a car accident and didn’t survive. That’s the way I prefer to say it because it hurts too much to say it any other way. She was 22. It still feels fresh when I allow myself to think about it. My memories of her are fading. It’s getting harder and harder to remember distinct things about her. But some things still linger. I can remember her smell and I remember how soft her hands always were. I remember her mannerisms more than anything. One thing I remember most clearly is the noise she made with her nose when she had post-nasal drip. God, that was SO annoying! Funny how now I’d do anything to hear it again.

The picture I have of her in my head will always be her running up our front steps. I don’t know why. As far as I can remember nothing significant happened when she was running up the steps but that’s what is imprinted in my head. That, and seeing her heading down the street in a blizzard on the snow shoes that I couldn’t WAIT to try. She said she was just going around the block. Hours later when she still didn’t return we were in a PANIC! (Well, to be honest, I was just pissed because now it was dark and by the next day the streets would be plowed and I wouldn’t get to use the snowshoes. I could care less where she was but I suppose my parents were panicking.) Finally she called and said she had walked to her boyfriend’s house (about a 20 minutes drive). It took her several hours but she made it. Since it was now dark and driving conditions were still poor she stayed overnight at his house. I hated her that night. I never did get to use those snowshoes!

Soon after that she came home late one night and woke me up. She excitedly showed me a ring on her finger. When I woke up the next morning I had to ask her if I dreamed it because I guess I wasn’t totally awake. I was so excited for her. She was glowing and I loved her so much that day! (But I still didn't forgive her for the snowshoe incident.)

I guess that’s what I miss the most. The extreme emotions that come along with having a sibling. I feel cheated. No one else can share my childhood memories like her. Sure, I had friends and I’ve always been close to my cousins but it’s just not the same. My cousins have definitely become my surrogate sisters and I don’t know what I would do without them but I can’t help but feel cheated. There is just no replacing her.

Eleven years ago I didn’t realize, I couldn’t realize, how much we both would be missing out on. I hate that she doesn’t know my kids and that they don’t know her. Sure I talk about her and have pictures of her but that’s no stand-in. She would be a GREAT aunt! We always joked that she would be FAV – Favorite Aunt Victoria. I know she would have been. She was mischievous and crazy in just the right way to make her the perfect aunt. I would have loved to see her as a mother too. Would we have similar parenting styles? Would she give me good advice?

She wasn’t without her problems. She had her own demons to contend with but she was fun. She had spirit. She had life. I miss her. I miss her every day. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. Soon it will be 15 years, 20 years, and the pain will still be raw and I won’t be able to hold back my tears even then. But life goes on, there’s no stopping it. So I’ll keep her with me and I’ll remember these words…

Some people come into our lives
and leave footprints on our hearts
and we are never ever the same.

Some people come into our lives
and quickly go...Some stay for a while
and embrace our silent dreams.

They help us become aware
of the delicate winds of hope...
and we discover within every human spirit
there are wings yearning to fly.

They help our hearts to see that
the only stairway to the stars
is woven with dreams...
and we find ourselves
unafraid to reach high.

They celebrate the true essence
of who we are...
and have faith in all
that we may become.

Some people awaken us
to new and deeper realizations...
for we gain insight
from the passing whisper of their wisdom.

Throughout our lives we are sent
precious souls...
meant to share our journey
however brief or lasting their stay
they remind us why we are here.

To learn...to teach...to nurture...to love.

Some people come into our lives
to cast a steady light
upon our path and guide our every step
their shining belief in us
helps us to believe in ourselves.

Some people come into our
lives to teach us about love...
The love that rests within ourselves.

Let us reach out to others
and feel the bliss of giving
for love is far richer in action
than it ever is in words.

Some people come into our lives
and they move our souls to sing
and make our spirits dance.

They help us to see that everything on earth
is part of the incredibility of life...
and that it is always there
for us to take of its joy.

Some people come into our lives
and leave footprints on our hearts
and we are never ever the same.

Some People     By Flavia Weedn

I do bathe my children, I swear!

Dear Crayola,

When you make a product and label it “washable” you should also test said product on human feet, prior to making that claim. Purple “washable” marker is in fact NOT washable when applied to little girl feet.

Sincerely,

Mother of an almost 2 year old girl that now has purple feet